Response from Charles Taliaferro on June 10, 2013

Great question. Today, I think most people do think of a Platonic relationship as an intimate friendship without sex. The first time such a notion was explicitly identified was in the Renaissance when the philosopher / translator of Plato, Marsilio Ficino coined the term. Marsilio first called it "Socratic love," but then changed the term to "Platonic love" and he mostly applied it to male friendship. Marsilio's shared Platonic love with Giovanni Cavalcanti, a young man famous for his beauty. He maintained that you can be in awe with the beauty of your Platonic friend, but you must not touch or smell him. You refer to a Platonic friendship with an opposite gender; while Marsilio did not address this, Plato himself had female students and, given his high view of women in the Republic (women could be rulers), there is no reason why what we call Platonic love needs to be same-gender.

I would say one of the key elements in what is love in the Platonic tradition is that, whether or not sex is involved, when you love someone you must yearn for or desire their good. For more on such matters, you might check out the book *What Philosophy can tell you about your lover" edited by Sharon Kaye, chapter 8: "Platonic Lovers."

I am not aware of psychological studies on the nature of Platonic loves, but that chapter will help you get started in further philosophical reflection on love.