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Hello: Almost two years ago -in January 2009- I was supposed to marry my fiancé with whom I have had a five-year relationship. Three weeks before our wedding, I just called her and cancelled everything over the telephone. That was a very mean and coward thing to do. I inflicted a serious emotional harm on her (and on myself too). A couple of months after I did such an awful thing (I can’t find a better word for that kind of action) I called her to apologize for what I have done. I explained her that I committed such a grave error because I was terrified of getting married. I wanted her back, but she refused me. Since then I’ve tried to gain her love again, but she just do not care for me anymore. I accept that as a fair outcome for my reckless behavior. I just deserve to be refused by my ex fiancé. What I haven’t been able to do until now is to cope with my regrets and my endless sense of guilt. I just can’t believe that I did what I did. I feel awful and unworthy of anything. I don’t need a priest or a shrink to deal with this internal turmoil that is taking my soul over. I need philosophy the help me understand and deal with my sorrow, but without getting indulgent. I don’t want indulgence or pity. I want a serious, fair and moral way out to this situation I am in. I want my soul back. Can you help me please? Jules
Gordon Marino
January 14, 2011
(changed January 14, 2011)
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If a friend were to tell you the poignant story that you relate I doubt that you would tell them that there ought to be no end to their guilt, that getting spooked by marriage and backing out is a sin that can never be forgiven. Think of yourself as a friend. You apologized many times. You... Read more
Is there such a thing, in philosophy, as a formula for reconciling two contradictory statements? If not, then are there guidelines or strategies to beginning the reconciliation of two contradictory statements or arguments?
Alexander George
January 4, 2011
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People don't normally speak of contradictory arguments – unless it's shorthand for arguments that lead to contradictory conclusions. So let's focus on that. I don't think there's anything like a formula for trying to reconcile such statements. One thing philosophers sometimes do is try... Read more
My brother (a philosopher) and I have been having a discussion regarding empirical reasoning. A sticking point arose when my brother stated that the conclusion of empirical reasoning must be correct if the premises are taken as correct. I maintain that the conclusion will be correct to varying degrees if the empiric observations are several, and that the degree of correctness may change as more observations are added over time. Can you offer any insight to this argument?
Alexander George
January 4, 2011
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If by "empirical reasoning" you mean non-deductive reasoning, then your brother is incorrect. That the truth of the premises guarantees the truth of the conclusion is a hallmark of deductive reasoning.
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What is the role of games in philosophy? I mean both games in general, and specific games, like Chess or Go.
Mitch Green
January 3, 2011
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Games have a variety of roles in philosophy that I won't be able to discuss adequately in a brief answer. However, I'll try to give you some useful examples. Lewis Carroll, who was a logician as well as being the inventor of _Alice in Wonderland_, used chess pieces as characters in his fiction... Read more
When I think about certain philosophical issues I sometimes get very overwhelmed and feel I'm in the grip of a serious problem. For example, arguments skeptical about the external world, or other minds, or free will really cause anxiety. I believe, in these cases, that there is an external world, that there are minds other than my own, and that free will is a necessary, emergent component of phenomenological consciousness. Yet, when I hear arguments to the contrary I worry that perhaps I'm wrong, and I worry about the consequences. In general, it seems that most academic philosophers live their lives like ordinary people, and that they believe in things like free will, and they don't doubt that their children have minds, for example. What they do is try to arrive at conceptual refinements through arguments against intuitions, and explore the limits of human knowledge. But they still tackle with these metaphysical and epistemological problems, and, for me, they can at times provoke great angst. So, aside from sheer arrogance about one's one views, how does one in the philosophy department--and especially an undergrad without the great background knowledge of counter-arguments that professors have--learn to be confident in their own views, and avoid letting anxiety run amok?
Charles Taliaferro
January 1, 2011
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Thank you for this inquiry! Some philosphers have been quite frank about the ways in which their philosophy can rupture their contentment or be a source of anxiety and some philosophers have even explicitly used their anxiety as a source for philosophical work (e.g. Kierkegaard in his b... Read more
Hello, as a bit of background I grew up in a non-religious household and consider myself agnostic. Recently, I've had trouble coming to grips with my own mortality and while I've read through both the religion and death sections of this great website, the more I read the more I've come to believe that Tolstoy was right when he concluded in his Confession that a simple belief in God is, for lack of a better word, the "best" way to find meaning in life. (I freely admit I could be wrong) I find that philosophy helps me deal with this issue on an intellectual level, but leaves me feeling wanting on an emotional or spiritual level. Can philosophy give spiritual meaning to people's lives the same way religion does for others?
Charles Taliaferro
January 1, 2011
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A great many philosophers today think that, yes, philosophy or a philosophical approach to life need not involve any religious beliefs or practices and yet it can be deeply satisfying in what may be called a spiritual manner. Among the panelists on this site, Louse Antony is in that pos... Read more
What evidence, other than reason and logic, does a philosophical claim require? What research, if any, is the philosopher obliged to do?
Charles Taliaferro
January 1, 2011
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Great question! The answer will depende on the type of philosophical claim. So, in philosophy of science, presumably a philosopher will employ the history of science, appeal to current scientific practices and discoveries, and consider a host of issues and arguments that may be relevan... Read more
What is it that makes some things childish and others not? And why is it that most of the things we call childish are things we do for fun? Why are adults expected to have less fun and be more serious about everything?
Charles Taliaferro
January 1, 2011
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Great questions! As for your main point or the point behind the questions, it does seem a great pity to think that adulthood must be defined in terms of a seriousness which frowns on fun, though I have some hesitancy about the way you are setting up childishness versus adulthood. I am n... Read more
Does the exhortation attributed to Jesus that you should treat others as one would like others to treat them stand up to modern philosophical scrutiny?
Thomas Pogge
January 1, 2011
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Versions of this Golden Rule appear in various cultures, and modern philosophical scrutiny can easily make fun of this Rule. Thus Kant asks what the judge should do with a defendant guilty of murder -- she wouldn't like to be jailed for many years, so she should presumably let him go. Amusing... Read more
hi.oh god thanks for finding people whom i can talk to. i'm a single man.i'm in a relationship with a married woman who has a 7 years old child too.as a matter of fact i knew her as the love of my life since 5 years before her marriage.we could not get married together because of the social issues.and i never forget her for about 8 years after her marriage although i walked out of her life.but now this love relationship starts about 2 years ago again and since then i'm with her by her will as she starts it.i'm dying for her and she is the same but she has a life with a reasonable man and a child and she has no reasonable reason(socially)to leave that life.i can distinguish that how hard it is for her to continue this.morally she cant be with me and emotionally she wants to be.i loved her about 15 years (5 years before her husband even know her).i dont want her to be hurt.it doesnt matter that i'm a victim.what should i do for her.if i quit,she will hurt.if i dont she will hurt.what should i do to reach what is best for her?i really dont know what to do.
Thomas Pogge
January 1, 2011
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The existing situation is bad in at least two ways. First, your lover is deceiving her husband and the father of her child who is, as you put it, a reasonable man. He deserves better. If his wife does not love him, he should know this and have a chance to plan the rest of his life in light of... Read more